NEW BLOG

For real this time... a new blog!

Jen in Maine - jeninmaine.blogspot.com

Come follow me! We are moving to Maine!!!!

Time for some changes...

Hi strangers! I wouldn't be surprised if I was talking to empty air because it has been ages since I've blogged or commented or anything of the sort. It got too overwhelming, I was getting on my reader and having 1000+ unread posts. While I love reading I don't have the time for that! Being the OCD person I am it was all or nothing for me, I guess.

After a few (or a lot of) months off... I've realized that I really truly miss blogging. Everything about it, the community, the inspiration from you all, the outlet for my thoughts and emotions.

I'm trying to figure out a way to start blogging again in a positive way without it becoming more of a stress or obligation than anything.

I'd like to start with a new blog name and url... something that's more "me", a little deeper than "Shopaholic Social Worker".

I'll keep y'all posted on the locale of the new, more relaxed, blog!

Against the Wind

It's been forever, yet again.  And yet again, I've missed blogging and I've missed all of you.  You know how sometimes life just kicks you in the ass?  Bob Seger's "Against the Wind"... definitely theme song for my life right now.  

I haven't talked a lot about my job on here because my job is allll about confidentiality.  I'm a therapist.  I honestly can't imagine doing anything else with my life, at least for now... it's perfect for who I feel like I am and what I want to do with my life.  I want to help people realize that even when it seems like there is no hope, they can find the strength they need within themselves.  Sometimes the only thing we can control in life is our self, our own path. 

This might seem really random after I've been gone so long, but I promise it's relevant. Since work has literally taken over my life!  I needed to remind myself why I do it... because when I get overwhelmed with the paperwork side of things... I sometimes forget.

So that's where I am. Overwhelmed, swimming in a sea of paperwork, laundry, bills, school loans... the list goes on and I know y'all have probably all been here.  I just feel like my life is in a serious routine mode, goes a little something like this:

-alarm goes off, roll out of bed after some serious grumbling

-drive to work in a half-sleeping haze

-work anywhere from 10 to 12 hours

-gym

-cook dinner

-clean

-laundry

-sleep

-....and repeat

So how do I break the cycle?? I feel like I don't have the time, energy, or resources to spice up my life!  How have you been my sweets?

Don't you forget about me...

Blog world?  Are you still there?  I'm endlessly sorry I left you for so long...


Life has been, to put it lightly, absolutely insane.  It's been over a month since I posted or even commented on anyone's blog.  I promise I've still been reading, I couldn't stay away from you pretty ladies and your beautiful/hilarious/honest blogs.


I want so badly to catch you all up on what's been happening, even though I know it would take lit-rally forevs.  I've missed sharing things with you all, but honestly, I just couldn't.

If I'm going to be honest... I sank into a deep, deep, deep depression...  It's mostly gone now.  But I was so far gone I honestly think I lost my self for a few weeks.  I wanted to talk about it here, because this place is my outlet, and I knew you would all be supportive of me.  I wasn't ready.  I'll share it with you piece by piece, eventually...  I'm still sorting through it all in my head.


ADE is back and I'm very happy about it.  The events leading up to our reconciliation are dramatic and packed full of emotions.  I learned a lot in the past 2 months, a lot that I want to share here, not only so I'll always remember but also so maybe, on the chance that someone reading this has gone through the same thing, someone can learn from my experiences.  Or at least so that someone can feel not quite so alone.

Just so you know, I didn't take him back lightly.  I promise I'll explain more... I just want to do it justice and I have to process some more before I can do that.


Just know that I truly missed this beautiful blogosphere and I'm back for good!  I could never stay away from it and you forever...


love, jen

all images via {weheartit}

Barn Girl

I'm writing this at work, even though I can't actually post on my blog at work.  I wouldn't want co-workers, or worse, my boss, to find this blog.  THAT would be embarassing!  Anyhow, I am done with my work for today and there are still 3 whole hours left of the day.  I'm quite tempted to sneak out now and go take a nap, but I sha'nt!

 

I met ADE for lunch today.  It was neither here nor there.  He wants us to get back together, but he can't right now.  I'm almost to the point of not caring.  I said almost.  Why does love come so quickly and then refuse to go away just as fast? 

 

Oh, something interesting did happen though.  One of his random ex-bang-buddies came into where we were eating.  We call her "barn girl" because they did it a couple of times in his grandparents' barn.  He moved from where he was sitting by me to the seat across from me (so she wouldn't see him) and whispered "Oh God, it's Barn Girl".  Talk about ruining a girl's lunch.  For the rest of the time all I could think about was the two of them banging in a barn.  Blech.  She was decent-looking, small frame, but not the prettiest face (come on, don't we all get a little judgey when it comes to those who went before us?)  She sure took her sweet ass time orderin' her italian meatball sub.  Double Blech. I can't get the image of him with her out of my head. 

 

Moving on... his fall break is this weekend (so he has a 4-day weekend) and he said we could possibly spend some time together.  I've decided if he can't make time for me this weekend I am going to stop trying.  I refuse to be the only person in this relationship (or whatever it is) who is actually putting forth an effort.

 

This day is terrible.  Tomorrow will be better, because I said so.

Bob... the new love of my life!

Aha, y'all's comments on my last post absolutely cracked me up!  It was nice to hear that I'm not the only one in this position/who has been here before.

Many of you suggested a battery-operated boyfriend (or as I fondly call it- a "Bob").  Ladies, trust me when I say I've got one.  Make that two.  They are very helpful in times like these ;)

Thankfully I've got a different kind of distraction to take my mind off *ahem* things.  My sweet lil sis, Blondie, is a Sr. in high school and her homecoming is tomorrow.  So in the morning I'm making the 3 hour drive back home and spending the day helping her get ready, taking pictures, and then enjoying some time in a "real" city with real malls and real restaurants and my real best friends.

I can. not. wait.

I'll be back Sunday and look forward to hearing about all of your fantastic weekends!  Hopefully I'll have some pictures to share, I haven't done a lot of that on here, but I think we're at that point in our relationship! :)

Lots of love for my ladies,
Jen

ps - not a lot to report on the ADE sitch.  He said he wants us to have a future, but needs it to wait until the "meat of the school semester" is over to work on it.  Trust me, I'm doing a lot of thinking in the mean time about whether or not that's something I'm willing to do.

I Want It.Need It.Gotta Have It.

I feel like I start every post saying this, but you ladies and your encouraging words of support and advice absolutely make my day!  I love each and every one of you.  I love that you say what I need to hear, even when you feel like you're being harsh.  Hey, I need "harsh" right now!  So thank you, from the bottom of my blog-lovin' heart.

I wanted to do a TMI Thursday post today, but work was cah-razy and I didn't get a chance to devote the time you need for a truly gross-tastic TMIT post.

So, I'm gonna do a mini-tmi and say:

I need to have sex.

Like, really.  Is it wrong to just come out and say it like that?  I feel like we're friends now and I can say these things.

ADE was my first sexy-time partner (you're probably thinking, how sad) but we had really awesome, amazing sex for a really long time, I never had to wonder when the next bang bang sesh was coming.  And I've never gone longer than a week, and that was just once.

Ladies, we are approaching a month now.  And it's all.I.can.think.about.

I feel like a pervy perv and I'll probably regret this post tomorrow.  But hey, a girl has needs!